I can hear some of you reading this saying to yourself, "Okay, Mike, cut the crap. I don't need one of those positive mental attitude articles that makes me feel good then leaves me without any answers. My life is hard; business is tough. I don't have time for this—I need real solutions." Well, that is exactly what you are going to get in this article. Sit back, relax and open your mind.
I am not the smartest guy on the planet. (Because I work with the top inventors and life science companies around the world, I am usually the dumbest guy in the room.) However, one thing I know for a fact is that all achievement, accomplishment of goals or defiance of the odds starts with your mental state of mind. Henry Ford, one of the most successful entrepreneurs ever, said it best, "Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." I have the privilege of working and studying with some of the most successful people living today—from billionaires to Holocaust survivors, one-man charities to single moms and dads. One of the biggest influences in my life is my mother, who at 75 has survived a heart attack, congestive heart failure, diabetes, amputations, open heart surgery, the loss of her husband and my brother—who died of a prescription drug overdose on Mother's Day in 1997—all with grace, kindness and love. She laughs and brings happiness to all who meet her. (If you came by my booth at Medtrade, you saw and felt what I am saying.)
An extraordinary life or business, making that next sale, marrying the person of your dreams, overcoming a tragedy or how you cope with a disease is up to you. You cannot control external events or other people. What you can control is the meaning that you give to a particular situation. Is this a good article? Some people will love it. Is this a bad article? Others will say it sucks. Same article, but different perspectives will give it a different label and meaning. Who is right? The most powerful thing I have learned is that we are meaning-makers. You always have a choice of how to feel about anything. You can feel empowered or you can feel limited by a situation. Because there is no right way or wrong way to give meaning to an event or external situation, it makes complete sense to choose in any situation to give a meaning or label that is empowering and useful to you.
Winning the game before it begins is simply making the conscious decision to always look, hear and feel how the situation can benefit you and help you meet your goals. The meaning we give to a particular situation shapes our behavior and how we respond. If you believe that—no matter what—you will find a way to succeed, you will take action much differently than someone who believes they cannot achieve their goal. Here is a simple—yet profound—formula: thoughts create meaning; meaning creates action; and action creates outcomes. So, we must be very careful that our thoughts are useful to us because they will directly impact how we feel and what we experience. Remember, a belief or meaning is not always factual, and it might be empowering or limiting you. If you are going to be successful, you must have the right belief systems. Below are the belief systems that all winners possess.
1. Everyone has his or her unique perspective of the world.
There are billions of people on the planet. No two people see, hear and feel the same way. There is no right or wrong. When you accept this, you will have more compassion and understand people as they are and not how you project them. When you can see and demonstrate that you respect another's point of view, you will be more likely to influence them. This would be effective with your spouse, parents, children, co-workers, vendors, customers and anyone you communicate with.
2. Every person makes the best possible choice available to them.
When you believe this you will learn how to understand, manage and coach for high performance, forgive and be more satisfied with people. Sometimes other people's choices and behaviors are counterproductive to their goals and performance expectations. Examples could be not cold calling or visiting enough accounts or repeatedly being late to meetings. While common sense would suggest you fire any person who displays prolonged unproductive behavior, sometimes it can be useful to understand they are making the best choice available at that time. Coach them to see how they can accomplish their goals much more easily by making them aware of their current actions that are not aligned with their goals. This empathetic approach creates awareness and many times changes unproductive behavior.
3. There is no failure, only feedback.
Winners look at failure as an opportunity to try again, only in a smarter, better way. There are so many stories of successful people who failed before becoming successful they could fill the New York Central Library full of books on the subject. Every story has the same moral: failure is temporary—learn from it. Intensify your motivation, knowing you are one step closer to achieving your goal, and move forward.
4. Modeling excellence leads to improved performance.
Modeling in a business context is the ability to reproduce excellent and successful outcomes. Modeling will help you learn far more quickly than if you attempt to learn without the modeling framework. It will also dramatically reduce the time required to train an individual to reach peak performance and meet your company goals and objectives. To learn how to successfully implement this strategy and more, read my article from the October issue of HomeCare here.
5. The meaning and outcome of communication is the response you get back.
While your intentions might be crystal clear to you, people at home or work might interpret them differently from how you intended, and therefore may respond differently than you expected. Their responses are based on the meanings they interpret instead of the one you meant. Therefore, if some people at work are not responding the way you want or expect, it is easier and more effective for you to change the way you communicate rather than expecting them to change their responses. Remember: Your interpretation of a situation is yours only and not the situation itself.
The late Wayne Dyer had a saying that I live by, and you should, too: "If you change the way you look at things, things begin to change." Want to win in every situation? Want to win the sale, a new referral, get your employees to start upcaring, get that investment or win any game before it begins? Think about it, and choose your thoughts and reactions wisely!
