5 Ways To Celebrate Mother’s Day With Someone Who Has Dementia

NEW YORK—Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 12. As women account for two-thirds of all Americans living with Alzheimer’s disease, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA) has five tips so families and loved ones can honor their special women who live with Alzheimer’s disease or a related dementia.  

“Mother’s Day is all about honoring the mother figures in our lives who loved, nurtured, and supported us. If a special woman in your life lives with dementia, taking a few small steps will go a long way to help her feel the love and appreciation she deserves on Mother’s Day,” said Jennifer Reeder, LCSW, AFA’s director of educational and social services. “Making a few minor adaptations can help celebrate the bond you share with your loved one in a dementia-friendly manner.”

Here are five tips for families impacted by dementia to help celebrate a joyful Mother’s Day:

Make your own Mother’s Day card. Write a Mother’s Day card and read it aloud to your loved one. Even if they can no longer grasp the full meaning, the act of writing and sharing it can uplift your spirits and those of your loved one.

Create new memories using a strengths-based, person-centered approach. Quality time together is one of the best Mother’s Day gifts. When planning activities, take a strengths-based and person-centered approach and incorporate what the person can currently do, and what they presently choose to do. Focus on those things that are pleasurable and let go of activities that may be too stressful.

Reminisce together. Familiar faces and old photos can bring joy and comfort to someone living with dementia, even if the person can’t remember the names. It’s a good way to connect with your loved one and evoke positive memories. Look at old photos together and describe them for your loved one as you go through them: for example, who the people are, or what the occasion was. Avoid asking questions like, “Do you remember?” that can embarrass someone living with a memory disorder. Be patient and attentive when listening to your loved one’s stories and memories. Validate their feelings and experiences, even if they don’t align with reality. This validation reinforces the feeling of being heard and understood.

Adapt old favorites. Dementia-related illnesses can impact a person’s ability to do things as they previously did, so it’s important to be flexible, creative and patient. If the person once loved going to a certain restaurant, for example, order food from the establishment instead and have a feast at home. Break down complex activities into simpler, more manageable steps. If your loved one enjoys cooking, focus on tasks like mixing ingredients rather than following elaborate recipes.

The gift of flowers has therapeutic benefits. Flowers are a very popular Mother’s Day gift, and they can be especially beneficial for someone living with dementia. The scent can help improve mood, promote positive feelings and stimulate the brain. Flowers also have a calming effect that reduces agitation and stress. Purchase a bouquet of fresh flowers, (preferably those that are non-toxic to humans or pets, such as roses, orchids or sunflowers) set the flowers on a table, and enjoy their fragrance together.

AFA’s Helpline, staffed entirely by licensed social workers who are specifically trained in dementia care, can provide additional information and support for families. The Helpline is available seven days a week by phone (866) 232-8484, text message (646) 586-5283, and web chat at alzfdn.org.